English Class (Circa 2003)

The girl sitting next to me
She is very pretty I can see
But I wonder, can she hear?
With seven piercings in her ear?
“Fox”

Clumsy clumsy teacher is
Giving us a silly quiz
Every day he breaks the chalk
Obsessively I check the clock
“Balloon”

Behind me sits a regular bloke
Always ready to give a dry joke
He might as well stand up and cheer
“I love football, pizza and beer!”
“Reg”

The girl in front of me exposing her thong
I thank her for letting me stare for so long
She’s very stupid I always thought
But there is no doubt that she is hot
“Babe”

The boy behind me kicking my chair
I am about to pull out my hair
If he hits it one more time
I will commit a heinous crime
“Troll”

The disgusting kid who never talks
Always wearing the dirtiest socks
Worn out sandals on his feet
Hey kid, take a shower that would be sweet
“Grease beast”

Just another day in English class
I only learn to let time pass
Looking forward to when it’s done
It’s not so bad, time flies during fun
(Sigh)

Rain (April 29, 2009)

single lost women
asks a dozen bus drivers
—miss-matched directions


White Castle breakfast
worse than I remember
rainy spring morning

Work Musings

Guy walks in, asks me what is on the buffet. I show him him the pesto rigotoni with italian sausage, penne with artichoke hearts and mushrooms, linguini with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes and spaghetti. Is there pizza on the buffet also he asks? Yes, we have pepperoni pizza, sausage pizza, and alfredo chicken with tomato.

"Looks like too many carbs. Thanks anyway."
"... alright (This is a fucking PIZZERIA DUMBSHIT.)"

Friday Night Blues (April 24, 2009)

friday evening
few patrons participate
all of them ugly

two mature adults
leave a mess like toddlers—
disgusting piggies

non-paying patrons
pissing on my toilet seat
I’m gritting my teeth

greasy fingerprints
I only like children
when the slip and fall

lipstick like a clown
the mirror in her bathroom
—probably broken

ugly family
“buffet art” on their clothing
like father like son

A Slim Chance at Happiness (April 20, 2009)

all in on the flop
drawing to a royal flush
versus a full house

a rainy monday
expecting to hear crickets
—unpredictable

fifteen minutes pass
indecisive customers
—ham and cheese sandwich

I Hate Friday (April 17, 2009)

friday evening
it’s never busy enough
but still exhausting

forgotten tea cup—
I remember after three
where I had left it

potential visit?
possibility of her—
brightens my weekend

so many sunsets
I’ve come to appreciate
empty dining room

full brown paper bags
not from the grocery store—
busy liquor store

second I relax—
dash to get the telephone
telemarketer

Emily’s absence
facebook loses it’s appeal
—just HTML

A Cranky Gentlemen (April 15, 2009)

every phone call
brings me closer to anger
hate all the voices

a true summer day
our patio is ready
in use by no one

excited to see
how badly she will hurt me—
this girl of my dreams

iced tea with honey
my summer-time fixation
I am still sweating

another pay day
one step closer to my house
Zeno’s Paradox

Boredom (April 6, 2009)

coffee versus tea
two hours spent deciding
getting sleepier

shot of espresso—
hypnotizing steam escapes
until its all gone

parking lot shadows
sunset manipulated—
stretch and disappear

Tuesday (March 31, 2009)

Tuesday
(March 31, 2009)

cookies with my tea
I consume the whole package
seven cups of tea

perfectly fine day
ruined by a thunderstorm—
a mother’s shouting

day of flared tempers
cumulonimbus relief
I welcome the rain

44 Tea Cups (March 26, 2009)

horizontal snow
driven by bitter wind
—Industrial windows


three empty tea cups
scattered on my makeshift desk
full cup in my hand

Sunday (March 22, 2009)

enormous salad
guilt of wastefulness consumes
unhappy stomach

Monotony (March 21, 2009)

snow on parking lots
a satisfying salad
obliterated

Grey (March 20, 2009)

angry and sleepy
everything is overcast
tea isn’t helping


miniature cookies
Why did I take so many—
to only eat one?


empty restaurant
Ipod plays my radio
heard it all before


four teaspoons sugar
my mood shows no improvement
rain begins to fall

Relief (March 8, 2009)

well-crafted sandwich
look forward to consumption
fully-stocked deli


a perk of the job
the industrial kitchen
never leave hungry


daylight savings time
all my clocks are incorrect
except my cell phone

Frustration (March 7, 2009)

a shot of vodka
desire to consume
time is never right

Restlessness (March 5, 2009)

single customer
four employees to serve him
—excellent service


non-existent lunch
a shit box economy
The ship is sinking

Sadness (March 4, 2009)

same tea as always
but more bitter than before
a cry of lament

Onions (February 28, 2009)

my father and me
sharing teary-eyed laughter
onion therapy


an annoying cold
ambitious remedy—
slicing the onions


carefully laid plans
I beg your understanding
virus saboteur

Blizzard (February 26, 2009)

darker and darker
finally the sky breaks
—another blizzard

glimmer of springtime—
smothered by malicious snow
a spiteful winter

Burger King (February 16, 2009)

Burger King coffee—
Notably low quality
Makes it delicious



Collection of crumbs
Agitating me all day
They won’t clean themselves

Umbria Tuesday (February 10, 2009)

One tea, three sugars
Overcast wednesday breakfast
The first of many


Tea experiments
Black pepper basil infused
Exotic flavor

Umbria Monday (February 9, 2009)

Raspberry lemon
Defeat boredom of monday
Tea experiments


Thirty days of work
A real-time strategy game
  —No pause button

Passage of Time (February 8, 2009)

My strong cup of tea
Becomes stronger every day
Awaiting springtime

Shower (January 28, 2009)

A shower’s whisper
The answer to all questions
—In the water’s sound

Work Musings (January 26, 2009)

Pile of dry tea bags
One more added to the group
The passage of days


Empty sugar bowl
Too lazy for a refill
The passage of days


Empty sugar bowl
Too lazy for a refill
My tea sits without

Below Zero (January 8, 2009)

snow and salt dusted
car frozen to the driveway
battery is dead

Work Musings (January 5, 2009)

Realized too late—
Stranded in a timeless world
Forgotten wrist watch


My nine-pound jacket
Donning winter armor
Preheating the car


Spamming coffee
My fifth cup in an hour
—I don’t like coffee

Why I Love Winter

It's fall. That means it's cold and winter is coming. I am a huge fan of the winter for four reasons which I am happy to share with you right now. The cold air is clean, I get to wear my badass jacket, I get to keep food in my car, and the nights are longer.

You know how parents and grandparents are always saying nonsense like "Wear a coat or you will catch a cold?" Some kind of old barbaric belief that actually being cold is what causes you to catch a cold? Well the opposite of that is true. Germs can't flourish when it's 10 degrees outside, the same way they don't do so well in your fridge. When you walk outside in the wintertime and take a deep frosty breath you can rest assured than you are not inhaling any germs or allergens (well maybe SOME germs).

Speaking of coats. I happen to have a very badass jacket that weighs nine pounds. But it's not just wearing it that makes me like the cold. It's because when I have to put on a coat I have pockets! I love having pockets. I hate having to keep my car keys in my pants. Especially with these stupid fat plastic keys I have for my Passat. They are like keys for a toy car you buy at TOYS'R'US. They are HUGE! and you need two of them to make the car work. I have some other keychains and stuff on it too so it's a huge pain in the ass! I love just leaving that pile of shit in my coat pocket and not having it effect my life.

I mentioned food in my care. What am I talking about? Well you ever try to keep a Snicker's bar in your car during the summer? I bet you know what I am talking about, that candy bar is ruined. Well in the winter time, you can keep whatever you want in your car and it wont rot or melt. I am mostly just talking about candy like Three Musketeers bars, and Snickers. But it even works with beef jerky. If it gets REALLY cold than the stuff will actually freeze, and you get the pleasure of eating frozen M&M or jelly beans on those long care rides. Check it out.

Finally, the long nights. This one is very simple. I am a horrible sleeper. I often go to bed very very late. By late I mean 6AM. Because I am such a fragile sleeper, the sun coming into my room disturbs me further. When it's winter and the sun doesn't rise until 10AM then I have a much easier time sleeping. Which I like. I used to hate it when I was little because I could only play outside until like 5:30PM, but I don't play outside anymore so I don't care about the night. I just want the sunrise to be later.

According to Dante's Divine Comedy the eighth and final layer of hell isn't actually a place full of fire but of ice. It's a large frozen lake in which the sinners are trapped, frozen up to their necks. Interesting how this presents cold as the worst place to be. Part of the conspiracy to convince the world that summer is a preferable season. Non-sense I say.

Jogging (October 4, 2008)

the treadmill each day
how many miles have I run?
destination abs

Trying to Sleep (September 30, 2008)

always about her
my mind will not stop racing
"her" is one of three

McDonalds 8:00AM (September 25, 2008)

in early morning
everything is unpleasant
except McDonalds


“deluxe breakfast”
all you need for happiness
less than five dollars


McDonalds coffee
not award-winning flavor
comforting flavor

Wario Land: Shake It

A very clever and impressive advertisment for the new Wii Game.

http://www.youtube.com/experiencewii

Many World Kaizo Mario Lvl 1

Check out this video.

http://msm.grumpybumpers.com/?p=20

It is a run of the first level of the Kaizo Rom-Hack of Super Mario World. He overlays all of his attempts into the same video, so you can see all the deaths, but not waste any time! I wish he did the whole game like this.

Sweere Wedding Haiku (September 13, 2008)

love-locked in a gaze
joyous couple holding hands
no hole left untouched

5:59am (August 16, 2008)

sun already up
awake I lie restlessly
classical music


writing on empty
no muses left in my life
—just a snoring dog


with the rising sun
light seeps into my house
every orifice

SNES Cravings (July 24, 2008)

Sometimes I get the craving to play certain SNES games. I remember how much fun I had beating the last boss. Even though I am fully equipped and capable of satiating these cravings and actually playing the game. I usually go download a speed-run of the game, and watch it. Today, I craved Turtles in time.

Only one turtle
Eight hundred dead foot soldiers
Splinter would be proud

Only one turtle
Eight hundred dead foot soldiers
Shredder grinds his teeth

Life - (Work + Sleep) = Zero (June 27, 2008)

Fourteen hours at work
Nothing to look forward too
nightly cup of tea


plenty of money
not a moment to spend it
only half a life

My New Sister (June 11, 2008)

sharing our boredom
doesn't make it go away
mariya and I

16 Hour Day (June 10, 2008)

Work before sunrise
Installation was delayed
Espresso machine

Overseeing Construction (June 3, 2008)

strip Mall Patio
passing pedestrians stare
greeted with a smile


hideous people
patronize the mini-mall
—future customers

Umbria Construction Site (May 28, 2008)

A missing ladder
Insulation guy curses
It was fiberglass


work to meet deadline
plumbers and electricians
In each other's way


army of tradesmen
experts in respective fields
each tool-belt unique

Sunburn (May 18, 2008)

birds chirp in the wind
grass and trees drink the sunlight
—my skin burns badly

Mayo Clinic (May 14, 2008)

waiting lobby
In many ways an airport
—with constant delays



six hours have passed
only one haiku written
my third waiting room

Sunshine (April 20, 2008)

clear sky sun shining
summer finally begins
I waste it indoors



the poker table—
Attracted to the green felt
like a moth to fire

Snow (April 10, 2008)

friendly spring sunshine
oppressed by grey cloud-cover
another snowfall

Calzone (March 24, 2008)

Unidentified
calzones beg many questions
a surprise inside

Birds (March 10, 2008)

This morning birds chirp
forgotten buy familiar—
pleasant melody

Anger, Spite and Malice (March 05, 2008)

Frustrating snowfall
makes me more miserable
No one likes wet socks


Each day I'm rotting
mentelly and physically
"Marketing" "training"

Winter Wasteland (February 18, 2008)

clear skies and sunny—
snow and salt covered ground
three below wind-chill

Not a Morning Person (February 17, 2008)

seven wake up call
I prepare for my workday
round peg square hole



buried in my work
saves me from unhappiness
little time to dwell

"Training" (February 6, 2008)

Hour early traffic
I pull into parking lot
nightmare just begins


"training" without pay
I give thirty weekly hours
straight exploitation


as noon approaches
people become more friendly
maybe just hungry?

Voyage Home Sweet Home (January 25, 2008)

even the airport
my headache wont go away
slot machine noises


Mallory-go mode
deftly she skates tab to tab
I admire her butt

Gambling (January 22, 2008)

smokey poker room
I sit reluctantly
lose predictably


seek comfort in food
the Bellagio buffet
got my money's worth

Mountains (January 21, 2008)

layers of mountains
cut the horizon jagged
clouds climb over

Touchdown Vegas (January 20, 2008)

two hours backward
fifty degrees warmer
touchdown in Vegas


hundreds of people
crank slot machine handles
unhappy faces

Green Mill Goodbye (January 15, 2008)

trickling patrons
they complain about slowness
relaxing, I smile


a friendly greeting
suggested appetizer
—no acknowledgment

The Battle (January 8, 2008)

common cold syndrome
nothing a sauna can't fix
two hundred degrees


each room in the house
contains a stale cup of tea
I still have a cough

House To Myself (January 3, 2008)

night of boredom
I look to my buddy list
forecast is Sunny


chatting with Sunny
brightens the darkest of nights
five in the morning

New Year, Not Fucking "New Years," not even "New Year's" (January 1, 2008)

dozens of poems
a folder made of pixels
take up zero space


conversation—
it's what she didn't say
that crushed my spirit


I propose a toast
new year resolution
"old friends and new loves"

Russian Christmas (December 25, 2007)

automatic watch
what makes it valuable
is what makes you frail


Christmas snowfall
Father hands me a present
a well-worn shovel

The Quest for Abs (December 19, 2007)

determination
jogging not for travel
but for exercise


many things don’t change
given enough commitment
I’ll develop abs

Tea (December 3, 2007)

new brand of tea
old familiarity
gets cold so quickly


despite my effort
occupy my time and mind
think of her often


Halo regimen
pure pwnage during gaming
sit-ups during load


days pass so quickly
without any excitement
strangely, i don't mind

Fog (November 19, 2007)

thanksgiving comes
no reason to celebrate
without my Lisa


suffocating fog
objects render out of grey
like playstation one

Sucks (November 16, 2007)

day after day ends
filled with monotony
forward to nothing


port forwarding
virtually an art form
a winters midnight

Green Mill Haiku (November 9, 2007)

two table buffer
baby blast radius
a diner's nightmare


parmesan packet
completes the experience
Green Mill take out


bitters and Sprite
the ginger ale recipe
I take advantage


one drink per person
unmarked styrofoam cups
soda roulette


hosting duties
seating, phone answering
text messaging

Slightly Chilly (November 6, 2007)

gloomy and still
occasional wind blows leaves
parking lot

Lucky Charms (November 1, 2007)

gallon of milk
fades to only half gallon
bowls of cereal


too many charms?
stomach cramped and bloated
worth the agony


marshmallow treats
hundreds in my stomach
diarrhea

Absence of Internet Threatens to Take my Sanity (October 30, 2007)

science fiction hell
world without internet
my reality


reset the modem
"unable to connect"
reset the router


hungry for poker
probably for the best
unable to play

Parents Come Home (October 28, 2007)

gone for a week
they return from Europe
to criticize me

Musings (October 24, 2007)

some might think it's gay
I wear a pink robe with pride
gift from mother


deep into night
I stay up to watch Star Trek
over and over

Chipotle (October 21, 2007)

massive hangover
easily cured by sunlight
overcast sky


enormous pill
to cure my hangover
chicken burrito

-$16 (October 17, 2007)

fire in my gut
harnessed it for sit-ups
constructive fury


third place finish
first place stolen from me
by typical beats


too angry to sleep
video game music
embraced by the night

No Need to Title (October 5, 2007)

Final Fantasy
Lisa plays it joyfully
her toes painted red


poker after hours
bankroll growing slowly
far behind my dreams


with a full wallet
journey through Rosedale Center
I buy Lisa shoes

General Haikuwery (October 5, 2007)

electronic tome
unlimited potential?
blue screen of death


a few poker hands
over a hot cup of tea
back to back beats


after years of coffee
I finally realize
acquired the taste

Chesterfield South (September 22, 2007)

microwaved pizza
eager from starvation
my mouth is burned


a night of poker
savage like a gang beating
all emotional

Six Cups of Tea (September 19, 2007)

Neglected tea cup
Growing cold and tepid
I lose at poker

Third cup of tea
All three only half consumed
Cold from distractions

At Lisa's house
Nightly ritual begins
Final cup of tea

Lisa's (September 18, 2007)

I decide to sleep
thunderstorm erupts outside
terrible timing

Lonely Poker Night (September 13, 2007)

Sleeping easy
Victory on the felt
Poker's rare pleasure


Final Fantasy
Long after completion
It's music lives on


Bruno stirs with anger
While I play into the night
Music and poker

Visiting Shneider (September 11, 2007)

poker with Shnnieder
a losing proposition
expensive lesson


lonely late-night drive
kept awake by techno bass
zen experience

Masha's Homework

four page paper
mix of fact and fiction
I help with fiction



my cousin and I
handle homework together—
Krasny combination

Green Mill (September 1, 2007)

only four colors
countless possibilities
bin of crayons


my dream of serving
fade into nothingness
another host shift


dinner on friday
state fair consumes patronage
haiku on the job

Back at Home (Agust 28, 2007)

home with my parents
unpleasant experience
must "job" my way out

Thunderstorms (August 27, 2007)

Typing in darkness
Horizontal blinds flicker
with each lighting strike


Soft and luscious grass
feeding off good fortune
rainy august

Move-out Day (August 26, 2007)

jackhammer headache
hunger and dehydration
pills and coffee

Haiku of the day (August 24, 2007)

attempting silence
chair is disobedient
Lisa wakes and stirs

Insomnia (August 21, 2007)

endless thunderstorm
the drive home from Lisa's
uneventful


AIM at five a. m.
one buddy is still awake
one is just waking

New Keyboard (August 16, 2005)

Forgotten friend
Surprisingly re-enters
A cousin, Krasny



A helpless keyboard
Malicious can of soda
My reckless elbow

Haiku Hiatus (July 2, 2007)

over cups of tea
we share a conversation
through the internet

College Graduate (May 31, 2007)

bathroom break—
despite dramatic changes
tea remains constant



college graduate
homework never stops—
just little changes

Birthday (May 2, 2007)

birthday’s come an go
my age almost forgotten
facebook reminds me


First in memory
I feel totally content
Lean back and smile


Shower before bed
Chirping birds entertain me
five in the morning

Ending (April 26, 2007)

conclusion of school
surreal experience
happy it’s over?


Little Taj Mahal
Indian cuisine reward
Four times in a week


crippled bicycle
creaking and snapping to school
rust is terminal

Untitled (March 27, 2007)

a five minute stroll
from Mcdonalds to my class—
perfectly timed rain

5am Monday Night (March 26, 2007)

cold breeze teases
it keeps me cool but awake
playing with the leaves


roommates sleeping
everybody is sleeping
except me and tea


like a human heart
my room doesn't stop beating
as the city sleeps

Indian Buffet (March 22, 2007)

all-day hunger
helps me et my moneys worth
Indian buffet


needy stomach
only one hour remains
before sustenance


winter bicycle
enjoys its final spring
doomed to disposal


brace for impact
as the tests are handed back
pleasantly surprised

Back to School (March 20, 2007)

counting the due dates
six weeks after spring break
no more school ever


joy and nourishment
just under a dollar—
double cheeseburger


late class tomorrow
sleep without consequence
alarm clock set to four


surprisingly light
night class doesn’t feel like night
until it’s over


lazy sunset
people are cheerful
in the bright dusk


squirrels find treasures
beneath receding ice
box of milk duds


rusty bike chain
academic motivation
—both decompose

Spring Break Weekend (March 12, 2007)

a hangover
one remaining memory
first glass of wine


ring of mystery
phone shouting for attention
telemarketer


new batch of tea—
enjoyed in silence
while computer boots

Longest Shift Ever (March 9, 2007)

paper cup—
the tea I sip from it
loses something



ambulance screams by
people’s conversation
uninterrupted



ten hour shift
just three hours in
I need a shower



shining sun
snow melting off rooftops
gutter rain

Spring Break (March 8, 2007)

two hours early
double check alarm clock
—back to sleep happy


every day
the trip to school and back
longer than before


last day of school
surrounded by empty seats
spring break starts early?

Film Study (March 7, 2007)

warming pavement
overtaking cold snow
arrival of spring


bike without gloves
halfway through the bike ride—
I learn regret


research paper?
I purchase a research book
Finding Betty Crocker


journey in silence
only music of the wind
—broken ipod


micron archival
an artistic instrument
the king of pens


my untied shoelace
I contemplate tying it …
it remains untied

Darkness (March 6, 2007)

snow keeps on falling
tracks of my bicycles
—disappearing


unhappiness mounts
parallel to falling snow
Lisa is my plow


empty pockets
I check my bag for chap-stick
My lips cry for help