After Christmas (December 26, 2009)

Day after Christmas
tired from the blizzard
snow falls lazily

Computerless (December 15, 2009)

Torn from a loved one
I stand lonely and alone
computerlessness


love expressed in hugs
I'm forced to restrain myself
else you will be crushed

"Throw in some plates will ya?"

Here is the policy at Umbria regarding plates. Our delivery charge is a meager $2 no matter how large the order is. Some people think that plates and forks and stuff are automatically included with orders. Sometimes that is the case, and other times it isn't. You need to be aware of how that works when you order, it's easy to ask about. So at Umbria for a "set" (plate and a packet that includes a knife, fork, napkins, salt and peppers) we charge thirty-five cents. It's not unreasonable. For just plates and napkins we charge fifteen cents.

Many times companies have a budget, say $150. They call and they ask us to work with them jamming as much food into the budget as possible usually this ends up with us giving them some kind of discount. We are fine with that for the most part. But when they set up the whole order, and hey are already getting 10-30$ off, the next day, they call and say "Oh yeah, throw in some plates and forks and stuff too will you?"

After explaining that those cost extra they get angry with me. They think they should be part of the deal "Other places throw them in." Well other places have a 10$ "catering fee" which we don't. You know you really can't win. If we charge a catering fee, then we got people bargaining with us to lower it if they only need napkins but not plates, or forks but not knives. I think our system is fine. The particular case, that ruined my morning today. The guy had 25 people and wanted just plates and napkins. That is an extra $3.75 to get it. Fifty foam/paper plates cost about $4 at the grocery store just to give you a scope of our profit margin on it. This guy decided to be a hardass and tell me how appalled he is that we would charge him for that when it should be included. Where the fuck does he get off? That's fine if he thinks that, but that isn't the case, it's not personal. I am already giving this guy 10$ off the order, so now I am just going to eat the cost of plates too? Why not "throw in" some deserts? is there some strange understanding that non-food items don't cost any money? Like we just have infinite plates and we don't care about them? So this guy has the fucking BALLS to threaten me with "I'm not in the mood to argue about it, but I am just going to have to take that into consideration next time I am ordering."

Yeah you take that $3.75 into fucking consideration. Fucking prick. We aren't even looking to make a profit on these plates, it's not like we are killing you with them. We just want to recoup our costs and maybe squeak out a TINY extra for our trouble. Officially ruined my morning.

Big Snow (December 8, 2009)

dozen accidents
Minnesota's first snowfall
always a surprise


snow falling sideways—
playing Donkey Kong Country
I hear winter themes

Forced Re-inspiration (November 25, 2009)

middle of the road
squirrel considers options
indecisively

Snow (December 3, 2009)

My most hated chore
empty Parmesan shakers
winter's first snowfall

Lazy Monday (October 19, 2009)

vertical blinds
made transparent with sunlight
box elder shadows

Gloom (October 21, 2009)

grey horizon
kept interesting by rain
starting and stopping

Drizzle (October 1, 2009)

two full cups of tea
by the espresso machine
—soon to be empty

Snowfall (October 13, 2009)

outside — a snowfall
inside steam wafts from my cup
how appropriate

Cold (September 30, 2009)

cold air on my face
inhale the smell of winter
exhale foggy breath



an empty highway
your aroma rides along
I miss my exit

Imported Japanese Porcelain Cup (August 21, 2009)

expensive tea cup
improves the flavor of tea
—money well spent


flirt with Emily
she ignores me completely
her way of flirting


drinking tea outside
I rarely experience
the chirping of birds

Night (September 29, 2009)

wonders of the world
comfortably from my home
the travel channel

Rain (August 20, 2009)

grey clouds motionless
lush trees dance in cool air
the smell of rainfall

Lunch Buffet (August 5, 2009)

a busy morning
buffet piglets leave their tracks
one thousand dishes

Rain Dance (July 24, 2009)

another Friday
searching for comfort in tea
the first of many

Happiness and Hope (July 28, 2009)

bathing in sunlight
two patio umbrellas
provide shade in vain

Emo (July 19, 2009)

overindulgence
every pizza tastes the same
—that much parmesan


other peoples kids
I wish I could discipline—
with an iron fist!

Kids (July 17, 2009)

children riding bikes
super-soakers strapped on back
ready for battle

July (July 2, 2009)

Spam and pineapple
pizza of my fantasies
—a reality


underwater race
a beautiful nose—broken
but still beautiful

Family (June 30, 2009)

indecisive mother
not hungry for anything
—but always sushi


Russian family
Italian restaurant
—sushi for dinner

Rain (June 25, 2009)

a beautiful store
filled with ugly customers
—I should be thankful


another bad mood—
I used to be so cheerful...
only a women

Sunshine (June 10, 2009)

when we meet again—
eagerly I count the days
of this rainy week

gaggle of models
the most beautiful is mine
bathing in sunlight

Warmth

a spiteful stoplight
faces of those around me
they feel what I feel

June

Parmesan refill
How quickly shakers empty
—Passage of time

Another Friday (May 22, 2009)

that fated wedding—
I hoped I’d never forget
your beautiful face


approaching summer
the temperature of my tea
makes the day seem cool


clouds obscure the sun—
laughing at the sad attempt
the sun shines elsewhere


day filled with bird chirps
complaining about the heat
I know how you feel


birds tweet in nature
under air conditioning
I am tweeting too


every thought of you
soothes the bitterness away
a drop of honey

First Mosquito (May 13, 2009)

inside drinking tea
just recently I notice
the thunderstorm

my amazing bed—
already sleeping in it …
soon my dreams come true

a lone mosquito
doesn’t have time to regret
—the first of many

I fucking crushed him
before he knew what happened
the first of many

underneath make-up
hide more layers of beauty
to infinity

Anticipation (May 12, 2009)

Out of Tabasco
Another bottle purchased
Mexican workers


Familiar tea
Pulses of dinner traffic—
Where are they eating


My mother’s stories
A trouble-making baby—
I apologize


An occupied mind
Re-arranging furniture
Soon to be my home

Friday— (May 8, 2009)

a dribble of milk
changes the flavor of tea
the day is gloomy


incessant complaints
a fly buzzing in my ear
—working with mother


Friday dinner rush
Almost breaks me into sweat
Just out of practice

After-Birthday (May 3, 2009)

parmesan shakers
conspicuously empty
lack of customers


freshly-washed bed sheets—
never underestimate
the soothing power

Friday (May 1, 2009)

bad economy
forgotten by media
thankful to swine-flu

another birthday
a superfluous excuse
to see Emily

a bleaching mishap
after a dozen washes
—My hands smell like bleach

refills of water
drink without satisfaction
a salty sandwich

I Am So Graceful

I just realized something today—

In my entire food service career, I have never had any kind of traumatic accident. I have never dropped a large tray of food. I've never dropped any kind of pasta or burger in the kitchen. I have never spilled anything on a customer.

I am just like a figure skater out there.

English Class (Circa 2003)

The girl sitting next to me
She is very pretty I can see
But I wonder, can she hear?
With seven piercings in her ear?
“Fox”

Clumsy clumsy teacher is
Giving us a silly quiz
Every day he breaks the chalk
Obsessively I check the clock
“Balloon”

Behind me sits a regular bloke
Always ready to give a dry joke
He might as well stand up and cheer
“I love football, pizza and beer!”
“Reg”

The girl in front of me exposing her thong
I thank her for letting me stare for so long
She’s very stupid I always thought
But there is no doubt that she is hot
“Babe”

The boy behind me kicking my chair
I am about to pull out my hair
If he hits it one more time
I will commit a heinous crime
“Troll”

The disgusting kid who never talks
Always wearing the dirtiest socks
Worn out sandals on his feet
Hey kid, take a shower that would be sweet
“Grease beast”

Just another day in English class
I only learn to let time pass
Looking forward to when it’s done
It’s not so bad, time flies during fun
(Sigh)

Rain (April 29, 2009)

single lost women
asks a dozen bus drivers
—miss-matched directions


White Castle breakfast
worse than I remember
rainy spring morning

Work Musings

Guy walks in, asks me what is on the buffet. I show him him the pesto rigotoni with italian sausage, penne with artichoke hearts and mushrooms, linguini with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes and spaghetti. Is there pizza on the buffet also he asks? Yes, we have pepperoni pizza, sausage pizza, and alfredo chicken with tomato.

"Looks like too many carbs. Thanks anyway."
"... alright (This is a fucking PIZZERIA DUMBSHIT.)"

Friday Night Blues (April 24, 2009)

friday evening
few patrons participate
all of them ugly

two mature adults
leave a mess like toddlers—
disgusting piggies

non-paying patrons
pissing on my toilet seat
I’m gritting my teeth

greasy fingerprints
I only like children
when the slip and fall

lipstick like a clown
the mirror in her bathroom
—probably broken

ugly family
“buffet art” on their clothing
like father like son

A Slim Chance at Happiness (April 20, 2009)

all in on the flop
drawing to a royal flush
versus a full house

a rainy monday
expecting to hear crickets
—unpredictable

fifteen minutes pass
indecisive customers
—ham and cheese sandwich

I Hate Friday (April 17, 2009)

friday evening
it’s never busy enough
but still exhausting

forgotten tea cup—
I remember after three
where I had left it

potential visit?
possibility of her—
brightens my weekend

so many sunsets
I’ve come to appreciate
empty dining room

full brown paper bags
not from the grocery store—
busy liquor store

second I relax—
dash to get the telephone
telemarketer

Emily’s absence
facebook loses it’s appeal
—just HTML

A Cranky Gentlemen (April 15, 2009)

every phone call
brings me closer to anger
hate all the voices

a true summer day
our patio is ready
in use by no one

excited to see
how badly she will hurt me—
this girl of my dreams

iced tea with honey
my summer-time fixation
I am still sweating

another pay day
one step closer to my house
Zeno’s Paradox

Boredom (April 6, 2009)

coffee versus tea
two hours spent deciding
getting sleepier

shot of espresso—
hypnotizing steam escapes
until its all gone

parking lot shadows
sunset manipulated—
stretch and disappear

Tuesday (March 31, 2009)

Tuesday
(March 31, 2009)

cookies with my tea
I consume the whole package
seven cups of tea

perfectly fine day
ruined by a thunderstorm—
a mother’s shouting

day of flared tempers
cumulonimbus relief
I welcome the rain

44 Tea Cups (March 26, 2009)

horizontal snow
driven by bitter wind
—Industrial windows


three empty tea cups
scattered on my makeshift desk
full cup in my hand

Sunday (March 22, 2009)

enormous salad
guilt of wastefulness consumes
unhappy stomach

Monotony (March 21, 2009)

snow on parking lots
a satisfying salad
obliterated

Grey (March 20, 2009)

angry and sleepy
everything is overcast
tea isn’t helping


miniature cookies
Why did I take so many—
to only eat one?


empty restaurant
Ipod plays my radio
heard it all before


four teaspoons sugar
my mood shows no improvement
rain begins to fall

Relief (March 8, 2009)

well-crafted sandwich
look forward to consumption
fully-stocked deli


a perk of the job
the industrial kitchen
never leave hungry


daylight savings time
all my clocks are incorrect
except my cell phone

Frustration (March 7, 2009)

a shot of vodka
desire to consume
time is never right

Restlessness (March 5, 2009)

single customer
four employees to serve him
—excellent service


non-existent lunch
a shit box economy
The ship is sinking

Sadness (March 4, 2009)

same tea as always
but more bitter than before
a cry of lament

Onions (February 28, 2009)

my father and me
sharing teary-eyed laughter
onion therapy


an annoying cold
ambitious remedy—
slicing the onions


carefully laid plans
I beg your understanding
virus saboteur

Blizzard (February 26, 2009)

darker and darker
finally the sky breaks
—another blizzard

glimmer of springtime—
smothered by malicious snow
a spiteful winter

Burger King (February 16, 2009)

Burger King coffee—
Notably low quality
Makes it delicious



Collection of crumbs
Agitating me all day
They won’t clean themselves

Umbria Tuesday (February 10, 2009)

One tea, three sugars
Overcast wednesday breakfast
The first of many


Tea experiments
Black pepper basil infused
Exotic flavor

Umbria Monday (February 9, 2009)

Raspberry lemon
Defeat boredom of monday
Tea experiments


Thirty days of work
A real-time strategy game
  —No pause button

Passage of Time (February 8, 2009)

My strong cup of tea
Becomes stronger every day
Awaiting springtime

Shower (January 28, 2009)

A shower’s whisper
The answer to all questions
—In the water’s sound

Work Musings (January 26, 2009)

Pile of dry tea bags
One more added to the group
The passage of days


Empty sugar bowl
Too lazy for a refill
The passage of days


Empty sugar bowl
Too lazy for a refill
My tea sits without

Below Zero (January 8, 2009)

snow and salt dusted
car frozen to the driveway
battery is dead

Work Musings (January 5, 2009)

Realized too late—
Stranded in a timeless world
Forgotten wrist watch


My nine-pound jacket
Donning winter armor
Preheating the car


Spamming coffee
My fifth cup in an hour
—I don’t like coffee