Why I Love Winter

It's fall. That means it's cold and winter is coming. I am a huge fan of the winter for four reasons which I am happy to share with you right now. The cold air is clean, I get to wear my badass jacket, I get to keep food in my car, and the nights are longer.

You know how parents and grandparents are always saying nonsense like "Wear a coat or you will catch a cold?" Some kind of old barbaric belief that actually being cold is what causes you to catch a cold? Well the opposite of that is true. Germs can't flourish when it's 10 degrees outside, the same way they don't do so well in your fridge. When you walk outside in the wintertime and take a deep frosty breath you can rest assured than you are not inhaling any germs or allergens (well maybe SOME germs).

Speaking of coats. I happen to have a very badass jacket that weighs nine pounds. But it's not just wearing it that makes me like the cold. It's because when I have to put on a coat I have pockets! I love having pockets. I hate having to keep my car keys in my pants. Especially with these stupid fat plastic keys I have for my Passat. They are like keys for a toy car you buy at TOYS'R'US. They are HUGE! and you need two of them to make the car work. I have some other keychains and stuff on it too so it's a huge pain in the ass! I love just leaving that pile of shit in my coat pocket and not having it effect my life.

I mentioned food in my care. What am I talking about? Well you ever try to keep a Snicker's bar in your car during the summer? I bet you know what I am talking about, that candy bar is ruined. Well in the winter time, you can keep whatever you want in your car and it wont rot or melt. I am mostly just talking about candy like Three Musketeers bars, and Snickers. But it even works with beef jerky. If it gets REALLY cold than the stuff will actually freeze, and you get the pleasure of eating frozen M&M or jelly beans on those long care rides. Check it out.

Finally, the long nights. This one is very simple. I am a horrible sleeper. I often go to bed very very late. By late I mean 6AM. Because I am such a fragile sleeper, the sun coming into my room disturbs me further. When it's winter and the sun doesn't rise until 10AM then I have a much easier time sleeping. Which I like. I used to hate it when I was little because I could only play outside until like 5:30PM, but I don't play outside anymore so I don't care about the night. I just want the sunrise to be later.

According to Dante's Divine Comedy the eighth and final layer of hell isn't actually a place full of fire but of ice. It's a large frozen lake in which the sinners are trapped, frozen up to their necks. Interesting how this presents cold as the worst place to be. Part of the conspiracy to convince the world that summer is a preferable season. Non-sense I say.

Jogging (October 4, 2008)

the treadmill each day
how many miles have I run?
destination abs

Trying to Sleep (September 30, 2008)

always about her
my mind will not stop racing
"her" is one of three

McDonalds 8:00AM (September 25, 2008)

in early morning
everything is unpleasant
except McDonalds


“deluxe breakfast”
all you need for happiness
less than five dollars


McDonalds coffee
not award-winning flavor
comforting flavor

Wario Land: Shake It

A very clever and impressive advertisment for the new Wii Game.

http://www.youtube.com/experiencewii

Many World Kaizo Mario Lvl 1

Check out this video.

http://msm.grumpybumpers.com/?p=20

It is a run of the first level of the Kaizo Rom-Hack of Super Mario World. He overlays all of his attempts into the same video, so you can see all the deaths, but not waste any time! I wish he did the whole game like this.

Sweere Wedding Haiku (September 13, 2008)

love-locked in a gaze
joyous couple holding hands
no hole left untouched

5:59am (August 16, 2008)

sun already up
awake I lie restlessly
classical music


writing on empty
no muses left in my life
—just a snoring dog


with the rising sun
light seeps into my house
every orifice

SNES Cravings (July 24, 2008)

Sometimes I get the craving to play certain SNES games. I remember how much fun I had beating the last boss. Even though I am fully equipped and capable of satiating these cravings and actually playing the game. I usually go download a speed-run of the game, and watch it. Today, I craved Turtles in time.

Only one turtle
Eight hundred dead foot soldiers
Splinter would be proud

Only one turtle
Eight hundred dead foot soldiers
Shredder grinds his teeth

Life - (Work + Sleep) = Zero (June 27, 2008)

Fourteen hours at work
Nothing to look forward too
nightly cup of tea


plenty of money
not a moment to spend it
only half a life

My New Sister (June 11, 2008)

sharing our boredom
doesn't make it go away
mariya and I

16 Hour Day (June 10, 2008)

Work before sunrise
Installation was delayed
Espresso machine

Overseeing Construction (June 3, 2008)

strip Mall Patio
passing pedestrians stare
greeted with a smile


hideous people
patronize the mini-mall
—future customers

Umbria Construction Site (May 28, 2008)

A missing ladder
Insulation guy curses
It was fiberglass


work to meet deadline
plumbers and electricians
In each other's way


army of tradesmen
experts in respective fields
each tool-belt unique

Sunburn (May 18, 2008)

birds chirp in the wind
grass and trees drink the sunlight
—my skin burns badly

Mayo Clinic (May 14, 2008)

waiting lobby
In many ways an airport
—with constant delays



six hours have passed
only one haiku written
my third waiting room

Sunshine (April 20, 2008)

clear sky sun shining
summer finally begins
I waste it indoors



the poker table—
Attracted to the green felt
like a moth to fire

Snow (April 10, 2008)

friendly spring sunshine
oppressed by grey cloud-cover
another snowfall

Calzone (March 24, 2008)

Unidentified
calzones beg many questions
a surprise inside

Birds (March 10, 2008)

This morning birds chirp
forgotten buy familiar—
pleasant melody

Anger, Spite and Malice (March 05, 2008)

Frustrating snowfall
makes me more miserable
No one likes wet socks


Each day I'm rotting
mentelly and physically
"Marketing" "training"

Winter Wasteland (February 18, 2008)

clear skies and sunny—
snow and salt covered ground
three below wind-chill

Not a Morning Person (February 17, 2008)

seven wake up call
I prepare for my workday
round peg square hole



buried in my work
saves me from unhappiness
little time to dwell

"Training" (February 6, 2008)

Hour early traffic
I pull into parking lot
nightmare just begins


"training" without pay
I give thirty weekly hours
straight exploitation


as noon approaches
people become more friendly
maybe just hungry?

Voyage Home Sweet Home (January 25, 2008)

even the airport
my headache wont go away
slot machine noises


Mallory-go mode
deftly she skates tab to tab
I admire her butt

Gambling (January 22, 2008)

smokey poker room
I sit reluctantly
lose predictably


seek comfort in food
the Bellagio buffet
got my money's worth

Mountains (January 21, 2008)

layers of mountains
cut the horizon jagged
clouds climb over

Touchdown Vegas (January 20, 2008)

two hours backward
fifty degrees warmer
touchdown in Vegas


hundreds of people
crank slot machine handles
unhappy faces

Green Mill Goodbye (January 15, 2008)

trickling patrons
they complain about slowness
relaxing, I smile


a friendly greeting
suggested appetizer
—no acknowledgment

The Battle (January 8, 2008)

common cold syndrome
nothing a sauna can't fix
two hundred degrees


each room in the house
contains a stale cup of tea
I still have a cough

House To Myself (January 3, 2008)

night of boredom
I look to my buddy list
forecast is Sunny


chatting with Sunny
brightens the darkest of nights
five in the morning

New Year, Not Fucking "New Years," not even "New Year's" (January 1, 2008)

dozens of poems
a folder made of pixels
take up zero space


conversation—
it's what she didn't say
that crushed my spirit


I propose a toast
new year resolution
"old friends and new loves"